Many of the questions concern about dealing with the war - Wars bring on many feelings which everyone must deal with, feelings that are different for every person depending on their situation. There are many ways to deal with these feelings and the stress. Here are a few:

* Put your fears or concerns into perspective - Seek accurate information to help put your fears and concerns into perspective. Without some sort of context fears can embrace other worries that may not be related and the feelings can snowball.  Remember that the war is not here - the war is on the opposite side of the world. For spouses and family members of service members, know that your service member has received the best training in the world and is well prepared for the job they perform. Know also that today's military is better equipped to deal with any situation than at any time in the past and that combined efforts of the services complement each other, more so than at any time in the past.

* Keep your everyday routine as much as possible.

* Understand the real events and think critically. Reports during war come quick and many news stories, emails or online discussions may be unverified or are speculations. Find accurate sources of information. In many situations those desiring to bring information to us before others, don't have all of the facts! While others are simply building scenarios, ones that may not come true or are not based in fact. A local citizen is protesting the war because he believes that no one in Iraq can surrender. Does it make sense that our government would not make it possible for anyone to surrender? The facts are quite contrary to what this individual has stated! His invalid concerns and beliefs have unnecessarily added immeasurably to his stress levels and those who do not know the facts. He is trying to persuade others to follow him based on misrepresentation of the actual circumstances adding unneeded stress to the community.

* Evaluate and understand the risk - A lot of people tend to think the worst of situations and the actual situation is not normally as bad as it may be perceived. Understanding the risk and what can mitigate risk helps to put things into perspective and minimizes anticipated concerns. What are the real probabilities of your concerns actually happening? If the probability is high - what can you do to reduce the probability or the effect of the fear or concern? If the probability is low, concentrate on more urgent matters. Taking care of today's business removes the stress that will occur if you have to deal with something after it was due!

* Discuss your fears or concerns with friends, family or professionals. Discussions with knowledgeable people that you trust can help to understand situations and fears. Maybe they have an alternative way to help deal with the stress or maybe you can offer a means of support.

* Dealing with children's concerns
- Keep communications open and honestly answer their questions. But answer questions at their intelligence level. Remember they will bring information home from school - some true and some not so true. If you aren't truthful with them, they are likely to find out and start to loose faith in the people they trust.
- Minimize the amount of TV and radio coverage they receive. If they watch a station that has nothing but news of the war on they are likely to believe that war is affecting their entire life.
- The first four item listed above are also important to your children. However you should not show your fears with your children unless they are mature enough to understand. Discussing your concerns or fears may be a worthy endeavor, but help to alleviate the fears that the child may have. This can be partly accomplished by maintaining routine schedules and open communications. Other children may need your assurances that you will protect them and they are safe.  Their understanding that the war is far-far away is important and that risk to you and them is minimal helps to provide that safe haven they should feel. If they ask a question you can't answer help them to walk through the true risk involved.

*eMail to service members. Email to service members has been both an added comfort and a major concern.
DO NOT send your service member distressing news - they need to concentrate on their job to protect their safety and those around them. Even small items like "the washer broke and I can't fix it" can be very distracting when they become concerned with your well being. If a life threatening situation or death has occurred in the family, use a base Chaplain or the American Red Cross to get the information to them. This allows those around the individual to deal effectively with the situation and minimizes distractions for all involved.

DO NOT ask about locations or movements of their units. You are asking them to place information that may be important to their safety in the public domain where those that don't need to know, could get their hands it. If you do receive information of this nature DO NOT forward it to others!

Send email on a regular basis but not everyday and don't replace letters and cards with emails. Your service member will still welcome mail that you send. In fact it may have more value as they can save your letter and read it again and again when they have time.

* For the Spouses or family of services members. Seek assistance within the community for most challenges or problems . There are spouse and family  support groups for almost every command, base chaplains, and family or fleet service centers that have scores of counselors waiting to assist. Even your neighbor may be more than willing to help out. If you have feel you have exhausted your sources send us an e-mail, we can help find assistance.

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